By Mistake
by TeenFictionist
Summary: Non slash MPREG! A potion gone wrong leads to more than what was 'expected'. Chapter three is up!
1. Potions Class

**Title: By Mistake**

**Author's Note: **I love reading humorous mpregs, however the slash isn't really my thing- so I figured I'd make one without the slash! Mpreg purely by mistake! Hope you enjoy!

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Chapter One: Potions Class

Ron awoke with a start. It was the first day of his seventh and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He and Hermione had tried all summer to convince Harry to come back to Hogwarts, finally to agree on showing up for two weeks. It was sort of a final goodbye to the school they had spent much of their lives in.

Propping himself up, Ron looked over at a sleeping Harry. Smiling to himself he grabbed the pillow from under his head and lobbed it across the room at Harry. To his satisfaction, it hit him square on the back of the head and Harry sat up, his eyes unfocused. Looking around him he found the pillow and soon noticed Ron, who was bent over in silent peels of laughter. Harry scowled at him, and whipping the pillow back at him, demanded, "What the hell did you do that for?"

After a few seconds Ron caught his breath. "You looked so damn peaceful, mate," he laughed, "I just couldn't help myself." Still smiling, Ron got up and quickly pulled on his robes. Harry finished soon after him and the both walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Noticing that Hermione was already seated, Ron walked purposefully towards her. During the last week of the summer holidays, Ron had finally worked up his nerves to as Hermione out, but just as he opened his mouth, Fred and George had apparated beside him. He had quickly changed his mind and asked her if she could pass him his new textbooks.

She smiled at him and muttered a quick hello as he sat across from her, making his heart skip a few beats. He smiled back at her, feeling his ears going red. "'llo," he muttered. _Today there will be no interruptions. Today is the day I'm going to ask her_. A wave of nervousness settled itself in the pit of his stomach as he thought this. Harry sat beside Ron.

"Morning, Hermione!" Harry greeted. Breakfast was quite uneventful, disturbed only by the arrival of their timetables. The three had double potions first block with a new teacher called Professor D. Venen. Ron's next class wasn't until after dinner where he'd be taking Transfiguration with yet another new teacher.

The group quickly made their way down the familiar hall towards the Potions classroom. Stepping inside, they saw a man sitting straight-backed in a chair. He had small rectangular glasses perched on the tip of his nose, and dark brown hair. His robes were black and looked as though they had been ironed. He glanced up from the paper on his desk at the three who just entered. He had the overall look of boredom about him.

"Everyone, take your seats," he began in a drawling voice. "I am Professor Venen. Today you will be making a very difficult potion. You will all take a stab at a Strengthening Solution. It might not sound very difficult, but many things can go wrong, and to prove how explicitly I want you to follow the directions, you are going to test your potions on yourself. Now, turn to page seventeen in your text books and begin."

Ron nervously glanced around him. All had their eyes in their books. He obediently followed suit. He read through the directions and found that it looked quite easy. Half an hour passed in tense silence. His potion had turned a pale green. Looking back at his textbook, his stomach squirmed uneasily. His potion was supposed to be yellow by now. Glancing over at Hermione's cauldron he saw that it was a bright yellow.

"Hey, Hermione," he whispered, "Could you help? Please?" Hermione glanced up at him, brushing her brown locks from her face. She sighed then started muttering what to do under her breath. Half way through her explanation, however, Professor Venen passed their table and realized what Hermione was doing.

"Five points from Gryffindor," He drawled. Ron scowled at him wrinkled his nose at his cauldron. The potion had turned a light shade of blue, but seemed to refuse any attempt at changing it. Ron followed the rest of the directions precisely, but only managed to turn the solution into a soft shade of purple. He glanced at Hermione's solution, which was a deep crimson colour.

Professor Venen cleared his throat. "Now you will all take a vial of your Strengthening Solution up to me. I will examine it, and then give it back to you to try." He waved his wand negligently and a boulder appeared beside his desk. He continued, "If your solution has worked properly, you will be able to lift this boulder with ease. If it hasn't-" He took this pause to look pointedly at Ron. "-you can make your way to the Hospital Wing, or, to St. Mungo's." At this, he smiled. Apparently it was a joke. Ron didn't find it amusing.

One by one the students lined up with their vials of potion. Ron watched as his classmates drank their different coloured potions. Some were able to lift the boulder with ease, some with a bit of difficulty, and a few had to hurry off to the Hospital Wing, sprouting extra limbs or bursting out in boils. Too soon it was Ron's turn. He stepped up in front of Professor Venen, put his vial to his lips and tipped his head back. The solution was smooth and warm going down, and had a sweet taste to it. _It's not half bad!_ He thought to himself.

Ron bent down, hooked his arms around the boulder and pulled with all his might. But the boulder refused to move. He tried once more, to no avail.

Professor Venen smiled smugly. "Off to the Hospital Wing to make sure nothing is wrong with you," He commanded. Ron collected his bag and headed off in silence, thankful to get as far away from Professor Venen as possible. There was something about him that wasn't quite right, and Ron wanted to find out what that was.

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**Author's Note:** I have made a few minor changes to fit in with my plot… Hope you enjoyed! As a side note, I will be responding to reviews by the new reply button if you have put your email. Within reason, that is (I will not respond to flame). Okay, so now I will ask you a quick question, and whoever gets it right gets a muffin! Okay, what is the one word that is common in most stories that I avoided using? Have a great Sunday!

-TeenFictionist


	2. Volapük

**Author's note:** Hello all! Thanksto all myreviewers-you made me hurry to finish writing! This chapter is dedicated to my anonymous reviewer rinn weasley, because without the lovely review they gave me, this story might not have been continued. :D Sorry that this chapter isn't as funny, but I needed to continue with the plot... Next chapter, perhaps! Thanks, and enjoy!

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Chapter Two: Volapük

Ron trudged up the stairs towards the Hospital Wing, frowning in thought. Something seemed off about Venen, but nothing he could put his finger on. He wasn't necessarily cruel- at least, not as cruel as Snape. He seemed more of an annoying nuisance.

He dragged his feet as he climbed slowly up the stairs, convinced that he was in no immediate danger. Finally, Ron arrived at the Hospital Wing. Walking in, he saw many of his classmates lying on the hospital beds, and Madam Pomfrey bustling about with dozens of bottles crammed in her arms. She looked up as Ron entered the room.

She nodded her head in the direction of an empty bed. "Just lay down over there and I will be with you in a moment." As she shuffled away, he heard her mutter something to the effect of "Irresponsible… should have known better… making them drink their own potions!"

He laid down, left for a while to his own thoughts. He seems to be mean, but discretely…like he's hiding his true self… Madam Pomfrey interrupted his thoughts as she stopped by his bed. She instructed him to lay as motionless as possible, then retrieved a short and thin metal rod from one of her many pockets and ran it across Ron's entire body.

"There doesn't appear to be anything wrong with you, Mr. Weasley." She stated. "You are free to leave whenever you want." Ron quickly got up onto his feet and left in a haste. He desperately wanted to talk to Hermione about their new teacher.

"We've checked every possibility, Ron. There is no way that he is taking Polyjuice potion, he is definitely not a metamorphmagus, or he would be listed, and Hermione checked the library lists…"

Ron was sitting in the cozy Gryffindor common room talking to Harry about the new Potions master. "Where is 'Mione anyway?" Ron asked, looking around the common room.

Just as Ron began scanning the room, the portrait of the Fat Lady swung open to reveal Hermione with a large pile of books balanced in her hands. Ron smiled despite himself. _How could anyone look that good, with a pile of books nearly covering their face? _She rushed over to the two boys, and placed the books on an end table.

"I was trying to find information on Professor Venen's family history, but I found this," Hermione opened one of the many books to a marked page. She scanned through it then began to read aloud: "Venen: Volapük, noun: poison or venom."

"And that means…?" Ron yawned, then slid down further in his chair. It was only six o'clock on a Friday, but he was already bagged.

"I figured you'd ask that, so I took the liberty of looking up Volapük in my Muggle Studies textbook so that I didn't leave out any important details." She opened a second book. "Volapük was a universal language created by the muggle Johann Martin Schleyer. Schleyer was born and raised in Baden, a state in the southwest of Germany. When his son emigrated to America, he could not reach him by mail (the muggle communication system, much like owls) because the United States Postal Service could not read German. Schleyer soon decided to create a universal language. He wrote a full-length book on Volapük in 1880. The Volapük craze, however, was over in a few short years." Hermione looked up at them, her eyes bright.

"And that means…?" Ron repeated sleepily.

"Don't you get it Ronald! Venen could not possibly be his last name; Volapük is not even a recognized language!" Hermione stood up and began pacing. "Now, one option is that his great-great-great-grandparents were fanatics of the language, and took up one of the words as their name, but that seems highly unlikely." She continued.

"And the other?" Harry asked.

"The other is that it's a pseudonym." Hermione frowned. "But why would he want one? Unless his name is well known, and he doesn't want anyone to know who he is." Hermione finished, then sat down on the couch next to Ron. She curled up next to him and placed her head gently in his lap. Her eyes reflected the dancing fireplace as she thought. It was so comforting, knowing she was there. He felt her feeling her breathing in and out… Ron quickly faded away into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Ron awoke early Saturday morning with Hermione still curled up next to him, her head still placed gently in his lap. He would have stayed like this forever, had he not become so overwhelmingly nauseous. Ron tried to gently move her without waking her, but at the same time dash to the toilets. The result was a very awake Hermione who was suspended high in the air as Ron sprinted out of the room towards the boys' toilets.

More than embarrassed, Ron returned to the common room to see Hermione on her feet, wand in hand. The few early risers who had been sitting and talking were now staring at Ron and a few were snickering behind their hands. Hermione shot them a glare, and then glanced back at Ron.

"Sorry," he mumbled at his feet. Looking up, he could feel his ears turn red as she smiled forgivingly at him.

"What's wrong? You left rather quickly."

"I felt sick," he responded.

"Maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing. I'll go with you, if you'd like." Hermione suggested. She looked a little worried.

"I bet it's nothing," Ron shrugged. "But I'll go, just to make sure." Ron was almost certain that there was nothing wrong with him. A common flu, perhaps, but nothing to worry about. This, however, could be the perfect time to ask Hermione out with no distractions or interruptions.

The two began to make their way towards the Hospital Wing, talking merrily as they walked. _She's even pretty this early in the morning!_ Ron thought to himself as she continued talking about how her family and herself had gone to Paris over the summer holidays. She stopped talking, and Ron felt that this was the perfect time to act.

Ron stopped, grabbed her hands and turned her towards him. Before he could say anything, though, Hermione leaned forward and kissed him.

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**Author's note:** So what did you all think? I had to make several changes to this chapter after I finished writing it, to make sure it went flawlessly with chapter one.But everything is a-okay now! Hope you all enjoyed, and as a hint, reviews make me write faster ;) Thank you all! 

G'day!  
-TeenFictionist


	3. Pink Plus Signs

**Author's Note:** Thanks as always to my reviewers. I love you all! Alright... finally we're getting somewhere with this story! I enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you all enjoy reading it :P

**Disclaimer:** Yeah... I'm definately Jo... Mhmm.

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Chapter Three: Pink Plus Signs

Hermione quickly pulled away. She blushed furiously and smiled. "Sorry, but I've wanted to do that for a while now," she apologized. "And wipe that smug grin off your face!" She demanded, furrowing her brow and putting her hands on her hips playfully.

Ron stared at her, grin firmly intact. Her brown eyes sparkled in the light of a stained glass window. He pulled her gently back into his arms. When she simply smiled up at him, he kissed her again, but for longer this time. Time stopped for just a minute, and Ron couldn't believe his luck.

Quite suddenly the pair was wrenched apart. There, before them with a furious glare and a pile of books pressed firm against her chest, stood Professor McGonagall. _Ooh bloody hell… _Ron thought, looking at her guiltily as Hermione stared at her feet.

"Mr Weasley and Ms Granger… A SCHOOL is _not_ for "hooking-up" or whatever you call it nowadays. It is for LEARNING. Five points each from Gryffindor. Let that be a lesson to you." At that, she stepped to the side and strode past them, her cloak billowing out behind her in her haste.

As soon as she disappeared around a corner Ron began laughing. Hermione punched him lightly in the arm. He smirked as they began walking once again. "Hey, it could have been worse…"

"Well… it was horribly embarrassing," she mumbled, grabbing his hand.

"Didn't you learn your lesson?" Ron asked in mock surprise, squeezing her small hand softly in his own. She rolled her eyes at him and then smiled. _I love it when she smiles… _Ron mused. They reached the Hospital Wing with no further incident.

The pair walked into the Wing and waited at the door. Within minutes, Madame Pomfrey bustled out of her chambers towards Hermione and Ron. "Yes? What seems to be the problem?" She smiled sweetly at the pair.

"I… ah… I'm feeling a bit under the weather," Ron replied lamely.

"Well have a seat, dear." She gestured towards one of the many empty beds, quickly checking on a sleeping girl who seemed to be in her first year. The young brunette might have been pretty, had she not been lacking her nose. Glancing away, Ron sat down on the bed and Hermione sat on the chair beside him. She looked at him, smiled and then grabbed hold of his hand with both of hers. After a short pause, Madame Pomfrey rushed over to the couple.

"None of that in here," she stated, nodding pointedly at Ron and Hermione's hands. Ron let go grudgingly, and then turned back to the matron.

"Now, is there anything that you can think of that would have made you sick? Or anyone?" She added, glancing at Hermione.

"No… I… ah… don't think…" Ron began.

After a moment Hermione spoke up. "Well, you did drink the potion that you made yesterday in Potions class."

"I was checked for that yesterday, though…"

"That was just a basic check for severe problems," Madame Pomfrey replied. "The device doesn't pick up anything too small. Now, lets just see, shall we?" She took what looked like a stethoscope, aside from the random puffs of purple smoke it was emitting, from around her neck and placed it against his chest.

After completing several tests, running bleeping and buzzing devices all around Ron (who could see no point to the majority of them) and writing notes on a pad of paper, Madame Pomfrey finally spoke, "Interesting… well, Mr Weasley, there is only one more test that I would like you to perform. Just hold on while I go get it."

Hermione frowned in thought as she left the room. Ron lifted his eyebrow inquiringly, but she just shook her head. Madame Pomfrey returned with a little white stick with a hole in near one end. She handed the little stick to Ron. "I just need you to… ah… urinate on the end of that in the loos, and then bring it back."

Ron gaped at her as Hermione snickered. "You want me to… what?" He asked, his voice going involuntarily high.

"I believe she said pee on the stick, Ron," Hermione supplied helpfully.

Ron grabbed the little stick, feeling his ears turn a bright red. He quickly rushed out of the room, stick held out in front of him as if it were a bomb.

After a few minutes, Ron returned in much the same fashion, but now with a disgusted look on his face. Madame Pomfrey grinned and offered Ron a tray to place the little baton down on. "Sick…" he breathed, placing it hole-side up.

"It will only be a moment, dears," the matron stated, while placing the tray on a table. She bustled around to check up on the other students.

"Are you sure you peed on it correctly, Ron?" Hermione joked.

"Shut up," muttered Ron, rolling his eyes.

Hermione smiled at him reassuringly. A little beeping sound came from the tray, and the pair glanced towards it. Madame Pomfrey hurried towards the tray and picked up the baton in gloved hands. It immediately ceased making any noise.

After staring at the baton for several long moments, the matron looked up at Ron, disbelievingly. She cleared her throat and recomposed herself. "Congratulations…" She began, "…you're going to be a father." Madame Pomfrey handed the baton to Ron, who stared at it, mouth agape in shock.

There, at the end of the little baton, were two tiny pink plus signs.

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**Author's Note:** So, what did you all think? He finally knows he's pregnant... lol. I wonder how he'll take the mood swings... ;) Well, talk to you all later. And please be kind enough to leave a review on your way out! 

G'night!  
-T.F.


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